I Like Country Music

For the first 22 years of my life, music wasn't really a big deal to me. I never really had a favorite type of music. I would go in short spurts of loving one band or another, but I was never really into the popular stuff at all. I listened to the lyrics more intently than others may, and I think that may have had a lot to do with it.

Then I was introduced to country music. In that genre, I suddenly found an abundance of songs that touched me or reflected what my heart felt. I developed such a deep emotional attachment to country music that when I got dumped, I couldn't listen to it for weeks, because the right (or maybe wrong) song would reopen my wounds and send me into deep, heartwrenching sobs. A dangerous thing, considering I was trying to trudge through life without getting completely knocked down by my heartbreak. And considering that usually I was listening to it on the radio as I was driving. Not really a good time to start crying my eyes though. Now that I have healed, I can listen to songs about heartbreak and relate to them, without feeling in danger of slipping back into depression. And the beautiful thing about country music is that while some songs about heartbreak are the melancholy, cry-your-eyes-out songs, some are the upbeat, you're-not-gonna-get-me-down songs, so I can relate with those too.

Some of my current favorites, and the lines that I really connect to are:

"Songs Like This"--Carrie Underwood:

"If it wasn't for guys like you, there wouldn't be songs like this..." A song that talks about how ticked she is at guys because she was treated like crap.

"Undo It"--Carrie Underwood:

"Now I only have myself to blame

For falling for your stupid games

I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face

You stole my happy

You made me cry

You took the lonely and took me for a ride

And I wanna undo it

You had my heart

Now I want it back

I'm starting to see everything you lack

Boy you blew it

You put me through it

I wanna undo it"

This one felt like a big step for me, because it marked the moment I went from "I want it back" to "I'm ticked at what you did to me." Because of God working in my heart, I know that it happened for a reason, so although I can relate to the "I wanna undo it" sentiment, I'm trying to trust that it was part of God's plan.

"Pray for You"--Jaron and the Long Road to Love

"I pray your brakes go out running down a hill

I pray a flowerpot falls from a windowsill

And knocks you in the head like I'd like to"

The whole song is about this bitter guy wishing all these horrible things upon his ex. I am not so bitter as to actually agree with this song, but I think its kind of funny, and I can relate a little bit. :)

There are other songs that have come and gone that I relate with, including Rascal Flatts' "Here Comes Goodbye," Blake Shelton's "She Wouldn't Be Gone," and Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now," among others.

The next one is coming. I really listened to it today. "Ready to Love Again" is a song by Lady Antebellum that shows where I want to be.

"Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby

Building walls around my heart to save me

But it's time for me to let it go

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now

No longer am I afraid of the fall down

It must be time to move on now

Without the fear of how it might end

I guess I'm ready to love again"

However, I recognize that I am TERRIFIED of entering into another relationship. I'm scared of having my heart broken again. How can a relationship that started off so amazingly end in such an ugly, heartbreaking way? And if something so amazing can end that way, how is there hope for anything? I'm scared. I'm over my last relationship, but I'm not ready to jump in headfirst to a new one. Maybe I can just dip my toes in or wade around for a bit?