Throughout my life before college, there was never a group of friends that I felt completely comfortable in. Because of this, I bounced back and forth all over the place, going with whoever would accept me, but never making any advances of my own in the hopes of fitting in.
There's a group of people I went all through school with that I try to convince myself are my friends. I enjoy hanging out with them when we're all home. But I'm slowly realizing that although we've known each other forever, they really aren't my friends. Or maybe I'm not their friend? I suppose it could be both. The girl I refer to as "my best friend from high school," I haven't really talked to since the beginning of March, which was almost two months ago.
My first year of college was kind of the same way. I felt pulled in two different directions, but not really fitting in either way. I had sort-of-friends, and it slowly grew to where I had a couple good friends, and I had a best friend, but I still didn't have that group of friends that would all hang out together that I longed for so badly growing up.
Something happened at the beginning of this year though. I found a group of people I fit in with. I found a group of people that I could walk into their room uninvited and sit on their couch without feeling left out, awkward, or in the way. I found people who invited me to go out and do things with them, and people who love me for who I am. More than ever I realize that the people from back home are the ones I'll see and catch up with at reunions and trips back home. But the ones I keep in contact with forever, those people are right in front of me. And I'm totally okay with that. My mom was right.
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